


The Switch: A Kristina Magi Misadventure

by Warbabymoon



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 07:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13829766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warbabymoon/pseuds/Warbabymoon
Summary: Well, what is it like switching bodies with someone you're close to? That's the question Kristina asked Professor Snape, and got the unfortunate answer to...at the wrong time! Problem is: it's been happening to people all over Hogwarts and no one knows who is doing it and how to reverse it!





	1. One

**The Switch** — _A Kristina Magi Misadventure_

_Year: Four_

**Chapter One**

Kristina loved practicing spells with her uncle Severus. Sometimes, they dueled for the fun of it. Always, he let her win. One day, they would have a duel and he would stop letting her win. One day. Today was not the day. Although, something told Snape that he may want to consider letting her win. But did he listen? Absolutely not! What was she going to do to him? Knock him out cold? Honestly, he wished she would. That would make for something interesting. Most certainly.

She waved her wand and smiled.

"Uncle Severus, that was fun," Kristina said towards the end.

"I am glad you thought so, my dearest," he replied. "I believe that shall be it for the evening, Kristina."

"Uncle Severus," Kristina started. "What do you think it would be like being a girl?"

Snape paused and crossed his arms, "What do you mean?"

"Would it be weird if a girl and a guy switched bodies?" She asked.

"Most likely so," he hesitated. "Kristina, my dear, what are you thinking about?"

"Just..." she blushed. "I was curious what it'd be like to be you, and what it'd be like for you to be me."

"No! Absolutely not," Snape told her.

Kristina held out her hands in defense, "I don't know how to do it. I was just curious!"

"Well to satisfy your curiosity..." Snape scowled in thought. "I do believe it would take getting used to the other sex, as there are numerous differences between a man and a woman, including heighth." He also gestured at Kristina, trying to get her to recognize that the most obvious difference was that she had breasts, and he basically didn't. Not like hers, anyway. "And...other body parts."

"Oh...right..." Kristina trailed off.

"Besides, why would you ever want to be _me_?"

"Because you're awesome," Kristina grinned.

"Me? Awesome?" Snape nearly snorted.

"It's true," Kristina smiled. "You're extremely awesome, Uncle Severus."

"Hm," he frowned. "You are a strange child. Though, you got that from your father's side, to be fair."

Kris blushed as he reached over to ruffle her hair. She winced but with surprise. Snape forced a smile for her and then led her out.

"Off to Ravenclaw tower with you, my child," he told her.

"Yes sir," Kristina smiled.

As she began walking away, Snape crossed his arms and shook his head. Where in the world did that imagination come from? Better yet, where did that curiosity come from? Who knows. Strange things always crossed her mind! Half the time, he never understood what she was talking about. Oh well. Not expecting her to turn around any time soon with another question, he turned to head towards the Slytherin dungeons.

—

Kristina asked Erin the same questions. Erin stared at Kristina with her hand placed on her potions book, startled.

"You would want to be Professor Snape?"

"If only a day, or two...or three..."

"We are not doing a polyjuice potion!"

"No, like switching bodies," Kristina grinned. "You know, that thing I've always wanted to write out?"

"Oh my goodness, no! I am not switching you and Professor Snape," Erin shook her head.

"But you kinda wanna see how we'd react," Kristina could feel the curiosity ebbing from her best friend, practically.

"Mm..." Erin neither agreed nor disagreed with the statement. She did not want egg Kristina on with the idea. However, she did know that somebody probably was going to act upon that wish. "Careful what you wish for. Don't want one of our housemates acting upon it."

"I doubt anyone in our house would act upon it," Kristina pointed out. "I think a Gryffindor would. They can be tricksters. Especially the Weasleys. Gods, I can't remember their first names. Only two of them, and I can't remember...Charlie and William? I dunno..."

"Okay...valid point..." Erin resigned. "Alright...let's just...go to sleep. I really do not want to think about the possibility that someone would switch you and Professor Snape. I do not feel comfortable waking up to Snape in your bed!"

Kristina grinned. She thoroughly traumatized her friend with the idea already! Good job, Magi.

"Okay," Kristina practically threw herself on her bed and curled up under her covers. "Gods, I'm so tired..."

"Maybe you should learn how to go to bed earlier," Erin scolded.

"Ugh too much work," Kristina muttered and tossed over onto her side as Erin flicked the lights out.

"Go to sleep," Erin commanded teasingly.

"UGH," Kristina groaned. "I will..."

—

Snape woke up oddly. His face was pressed against a pillow and his mouth was slightly agape. Covers completely up over his shoulders, even over his neck. He grabbed at the covers and pulled them to his shoulders: he was overheating quickly. Something hurt below his stomach, and he was not sure what it was. What was hurting so much? Suddenly, the pain got worse and he gasped in pain. He wrapped his arms around himself and groaned. This was not natural pain, and he could not even begin to figure out what was causing it.

"G-Gah..." he sat up slowly and struggled to climb out of the bed. He searched for the floor with his feet and stood up. Unsurprisingly, he began shaking from the pain. Swallowing hard, he blindly began towards what he thought was his desk in his room. Instead, he walked right into another bed and fell on top of someone else. Both of them were awake at this point, as Snape fell back down on the floor and cried out in fury. "Why are you in my room?!"

"Goodness, Kristina, ARE YOU REALLY THAT BLIND?!" came the sound of Erin Hartnell's voice.

Snape stood back up slowly and Erin reached over for her wand and cast lumos.

"Kristina? What's wrong?" Erin asked.

"Kristina?!" Snape nearly yelled. "Miss Hartnell, fifty points from Ravenclaw!"

"Wait, you can't do that, Kris..." Erin trailed off. "You're not Kristina..."

"What, are you as blind as a bat?" Snape snapped at her.

Erin stared at him and then gasped, "Professor Snape?!"

Before he could respond, he doubled over in pain again and inhaled sharply.

"Oh goodness, are you okay, Professor?" Erin wondered, scrambling out of bed and kneeling beside him.

"What is...wrong with me..." he nearly cried.

"Well...all I can tell right now is that you're in Kristina's body..." Erin put a hand on his shoulder. "Where does it hurt? I may know why...if you tell me where."

Snape bared his teeth in agony but eventually did move both hands to where it hurt the most. Tears were streaming down his face from the pain and he inhaled sharply again.

"There," he said when his hands were where it hurt.

"Oh yeah, you know...uhm...so like you know girls go through a monthly cycle? Yeah...you're menstruating...and you are cramping..."

"Menstruation?" Snape asked. "Cramping?!"

"Yep. What a wonderful morning it is, isn't it, Professor?"

"I gotta find Kristina..." he whispered.

"No, you are not going to be able to even walk out of here!" Erin exclaimed.

"HOW DO YOU GIRLS HANDLE THIS PAIN?!" Snape cried out.

"Uhm...usually potions...a nice warming pad...lots of sweets..." Erin answered. It was not even too far from the truth. Pretty accurate. "You're a guy...men have a lower tolerance for pain...To Kristina, this probably would be a lot easier on her. Here. I'll get you a pain-killing potion. Please do not move."

Snape scoffed, "Yeah, like I'm in a position to move..."

He blinked at himself in disbelief as Erin disappeared out of the room. He never reacted to pain like this. Then again, this was not any pain he had ever dealt with before. Calm down, Severus. It is not like you are dying or anything.

But by the gods did it feel like he was dying. The pain was as if someone stuck a knife in his abdomen and had twisted it around. How did Kristina deal with this?

Erin returned quickly with a potion to help with the pain.

"Okay, I have the potion and you are going to fine once you drink it," she assured him.

"Bloody hell, Hartnell, I know that," he took the potion and gulped it down.

Erin crossed her arms and furrowed her eyebrows at him, "Geez, I've never seen you in such agony. Guess it really is true that men can't handle pain very well."

"Shut...up..." Snape snarled.

"Hey, uhm...so if you're in Kristina's body...does that mean...does that mean Kristina is...is you?" Erin wondered.

"Dear gods..." Snape muttered. "I do not want to think of how she'll react."

"Well, you _do_ know her better than I do so..." Erin shrugged. "But it's still too late at night to go to the Slytherin dungeons to find her."

"Tell me something I _don't_ know, Miss Hartnell," Snape felt the pain ease up.

"Well, you don't know that you're probably bleeding right now and I have to get the magic pad that is both invisible and makes the blood disappear so you're not embarrassed," Erin raised her eyebrows. "Kris and I actually created these, they work! And we're currently trying to patent them. It's a lot of work but will make a lot of women more comfortable."

"Bleeding..." Snape trailed off.

"That is part of the menstrual cycle," Erin pointed out. "Easier to deal with than cramps, to be honest, but still a nuisance. Okay, I have some of those pads right here..." She pulled one out of a drawer and held it. "Close your eyes, Professor. I will handle this. Don't worry, it doesn't bother me any doing this. I have seen Kris naked way too many times...mainly because I keep walking in while she's showering...oops..."

"I did not need that detail," Snape reached his hands up and covered his eyes. "Make it quick...I'm already flustered."

Erin sighed and pulled down his (well, Kristina's) pants and her underwear, stuck the pad to it, and then pulled her britches back up. "All done. No worries about wearing it, you don't feel it and you never have to change it until after the menstruating part ends in...five days, for Kristina."

Snape breathed in relief and drew his hands away from his face, "I will never judge Kristina again when she has to leave my classroom from the pain...the poor child. Hell, I don't think I could ever judge another student." He breathed in the first steady breath in ten minutes. Then, he crossed his arms with a look of irritation.

"Miss Hartnell, how do you propose we...deal with this?"

"Well, I highly doubt Kristina had anything to do with this," Erin told him. "From what I'm gathering, you both were dead asleep when it happened..."

"I was..." Snape scowled. "And was rudely awoken by that agony!"

"It happens to us more often than you think," Erin reminded. "Dead sleep, all of a sudden...holy crap! My uterus is throwing a hissy fit! I feel like I'm dying. Rude."

Snape remained unamused.

"And that's how I know you're not Kris because she would have laughed at that joke...then again it's true..." Erin pouted. "I thought it was funny..."

Professor Snape shook his head and sighed.

"Perhaps we should go back to sleep?" he wondered.

"Oh uhm...definitely..." Erin agreed. "I'm surprised you're calm about this, Professor."

"I'm not," Snape answered as Erin helped him stand up. "Gods...this cannot be real..."

"I wish I could say that it's not real," Erin admitted. "Considering you are in my best friend's body...it's so weird to think about...I hope Kris is okay."

"For my sake, I hope she is as well..."

—

Kristina was not positive if she was okay or not. It was morning when she finally woke up and she was curled up under the blankets. There was a subconscious feeling that perhaps she was supposed to get up soon. However, she had no desire to crawl out of the bed. Too comfortable. She forced herself to sit up, still wrapped up in blankets, and then yawned.

"Er-Bear, gotta wake up..." she muttered, then heard the sound of her own voice. "Wait...that's not my voice..." _Oh, maybe Erin is just screwing with me. Somebody's feeling playful!_

But that was not the case. She threw her legs over the side of the bed and accidentally slammed them right into the floor. Dropping the covers, she gasped in pain and reached to grab her feet in pain.

"OW!" she cried, then looked at her feet. She was wearing plain black socks. The fact that she was wearing plain black socks was confusing, because she did not wear any like that. She had black socks with foxes on them, but that was it. Confused, she dropped her feet back down on the ground, much more careful this time, and scratched her head. "Hm. Weird." Glancing around, she finally recognized that she was not in her own room. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked around.

"Uhm...shit..." she commented.

Quickly, she rose to her feet and looked around for a wand. When she found it, she was able to figure out at the very least where she was.

"Uncle Severus's wand," she responded. "Okay, his wand..." She reached down and grabbed her clothing to look at it. "Oh shit..." She raced out of the room, nearly tripping over her own feet, regained her balance for a few moments, and looked around for a bathroom. "Uhm...uhm..." Scowling, she chose a direction to head into and found her way to the bathroom. When she got there, she opened the door, walked in, and then shut it tightly so she could have privacy. Finding the mirror, she averted her eyes until she felt ready for the shock. After a few moments, she forced herself to look. She clutched the sink tightly as she glanced up. That was when she finally saw her face, or rather her uncle Severus's face. "Uhm..." She touched her face gingerly, and then curiously slapped herself to see if it was real. The pain that followed was definitely real. After retaliating against the pain, she grunted and frowned.

"I've gotta find Uncle Severus," she muttered. "This is not good. Not at all." Adrenaline coursed through her veins and she could feel her heart speed up with anxiety. Shit. How did Uncle Severus's body deal with anxiety? She knew she got nauseous...but...Although, she had never seen him anxious. So if his body did happen to deal with anxiety, how would that go?

Okay, Kristina. Calm down! Snape would not panic, right? Probably not. She had never seen him panic, either. Although, she's seen him mortified and crying. That was about it. For a moment, she got distracted by when she saw him sobbing for the first time. That was a few years ago, too. Her mind went off on a tangent with that thought.

She was about to start her first year at Hogwarts, and a week before they had gone to shop for supplies, she had heard him come home sobbing uncontrollably.

"What's wrong?" she remembered asking him. He could not tear himself away from crying to answer, so instead she wrapped her arms around him and cried with him until he could finally stop (she was a sympathetic crier). Even after he stopped and was hiccuping, he would not tell her any specifics.

"My friend...was murdered..." he had answered as vaguely as he could. Kristina did not know that the friend was actually his crush who had married his bully. He could never bring himself to tell her.

After thinking about that moment, she shook her head. Why did her mind go off on that tangent? Never mind that! She had to get out of the Slytherin dungeons and find her uncle Severus!

There was a knock at the door, startling Kristina. She jumped and looked.

"Professor Snape? Are you okay? I saw you running into the bathroom..."

Kristina recomposed herself and tried to think about how Snape would respond.

"I am...doing excellent..." she answered. "Just uhm, needed to relieve myself, that was all."

"Oh...right." Kristina could practically see them flustered. "I forgot you're human, too."

"Well, of course I am..." Kristina muttered.

"Okay, well see you later then."

"Whatever..." she mumbled. They left and Kristina looked at the mirror again. Holy hell, what was she going to do? She rubbed her eyes tiredly and stifled a yawn. Man, did Snape ever actually sleep? She felt like she hadn't slept in years!

"Crikey," she commented. "Uncle Severus, what the hell..."

Quietly, she let go of the sink completely and crossed her arms, realizing that it was a weekday and she had to get out to breakfast. Fine. She left the bathroom, still stumbling, and navigated her way through the Slytherin house back to Snape's room to get dressed properly. It was hard for her to move right, as she was used to carrying around a much lesser weight. Not that Snape was not at a healthy weight, but the sheer fact that he was taller than her made him heavier than she was. When she was dressed properly, she left and navigated the house by instinct and the sound of the students' voices. She finally found the common room, and then the exit. Cautiously, she crossed the common room until she got to the door, and then she was able to leave fairly quickly and without anyone to strike up a conversation.

When she left, she was able to find her way through the dungeons until she walked past Snape's classroom. Door was locked, naturally, but she knew how to get in...not that she needed to right now. Walking past the classroom, she found her way out to the main hallways and then towards the Ravenclaw tower. There, she waited for Erin and Snape. She could probably answer the riddle, but the portrait knew that it was Professor Snape and would probably ask too many questions.

Anxiously, she waited for Professor Snape and Erin to come out. Knowing how her morning started, she was willing to bet Snape's was not much better. And she would have been right.

Not even five minutes later, she heard footsteps running down the stairs and Kristina braced herself for Snape's scorn. She could almost already feel it as she saw Erin emerge from the shadows with what appeared to be Snape. She was surprised to see herself from a different viewpoint, but that soon faded when Snape's expression turned to fury and he ran at her.

"Kristina! How _dare_ you do this!"

He reached up to grab her shoulders and clutch them but Kristina stopped him.

"Uncle Severus, it wasn't me!" she exclaimed. "I was asleep! And I told you, I have no idea how to do the spell. My gods..." She paused and examined herself. "Haha I look so cute when I'm mad."

"This is not a funny matter, Kristina!" Snape snapped at her.

"Actually it kinda is..." Kristina chuckled.

Snape offered her an exasperated sigh, "I cannot fathom your ability to stay amused..."

"So you, for a fact, did not switch bodies with Snape?" Erin asked.

"Absolutely not!" Kristina shook her head. "I was sleeping..."

"What did I tell you?" Erin asked. "Careful what you wish for."

"Hey, I only partially wished for this," Kristina scowled, then glanced down at Snape. "Uncle Severus, do you have any idea how to fix this?"

"Bloody hell, I do not even know how this happened!" Snape exclaimed.

Kristina flinched and sighed, "Who would know?"

"Dunno," he answered. "I'll talk with the teachers...see who could potentially help."

"Oh! Severus!" came a voice. They all looked and saw Professor Moses. He had a cherry pop in his mouth, and so early too! "Kristina. Erin." He nodded at them.

"Professor Moses," Kristina blushed.

"We've a problem, Meriwether," Professor Snape stated.

Confusion crossed Meriwether's face. Did Snape just call him "professor" and Kristina call him "Meriwether"? He frowned and looked at them.

"Is there something going on here?"

"So uhm...you see, what happened..." Erin thought hard about how to explain it. "That is Professor Snape—" she pointed at Snape in Kristina's body. "—and that is Kristina..." she pointed at Kristina in Snape's body. "And we have no idea how it happened..."

"Oh my GAWD," Meriwether's eyes widened with surprise. "What? No way."

"I woke up in the Ravenclaw tower and she woke up in the Slytherin dungeon..." Snape scowled.

"They switched bodies in the middle of the night," Erin explained. "It's weird..."

"Okay, so no one has gone to the nurse yet?" Meriwether asked. After the three of them exchanged glances, he sighed. "Okay. Let's go."

"Madam Pomfrey would be able to help?" Kristina asked.

"Not precisely," Snape shook his head. "She may be able to help diagnose the issue, but there is not much she can do."

"Yes," Meriwether agreed. "Erin, if you would not mind going ahead and having breakfast?"

"Of course, Professor," Erin nodded. "See you two later."

"Okay," Kristina smiled. "Save me some food!"

"I don't see why I wouldn't," Erin teased.

Kristina looked down at Snape and offered to hold his hand. He glanced at her hand and then up at her. Sighing, he grabbed her hand and they followed Meriwether to Madam Pomfrey's office. She clutched his hand anxiously.

"By the way, I will never again judge you for leaving class early because of pain," Snape told her.

"Why?" Kristina wondered.

"I woke up...to the agony that you call your menstrual cycle!" Snape exclaimed in a hiss.

"Just your average day as me," Kristina shrugged. "I'm used to it."

"Gods..." Snape shook his head. "How do you deal with it?"

"Uhm I don't," Kristina answered.

"Crikey..." Snape shook his head.

"Okay, so Professor Snape...Kristina..." Meriwether led them into the office. "You two ought to explain the situation..."

"Yeah," Kristina agreed. "Uncle Severus?"

"Fine," he grumbled. "Just want this over with."

"I know you do," Kristina told him. "But you've got to deal with this until it gets resolved. Probably within a day or two..."

"Absolutely not!" he protested.

"It's likely, Severus," Meriwether pointed out.

"Ugh!" Snape groaned.

"So who do we have today?" came Madam Pomfrey's voice. Kris and Snape glanced up at her and she looked confused. "Is there something the matter with you two?"

"Sorta," Meriwether answered. "It seems as though someone... _switched_...them."

"I woke up in the Slytherin dungeon today and he woke up in my bed," Kris told her.

"It's absolutely embarassing," Snape complained.

"Switched?" Madam Pomfrey wondered. "You know, that's been going on a lot lately. Just yesterday, a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor came to me and they were switched. Couldn't do a thing! Same thing with the Weasley brothers. And a few others..."

"So there's _nothing_ you can do?" Snape asked.

"I'm afraid not, Severus," Madam Pomfrey said apologetically.

"Bloody hell!" Snape cursed.

"So uhm, since it's happened with a student and teacher, how do we go about this?" Kristina wondered.

"Well..." Madam Pomfrey furrowed her eyebrows in thought. "I'm not sure. Just go to your respective tables...I'd inform the other teachers of the issue."

"Okay..." Kristina scowled.

"It's an odd situation, for sure," Madam Pomfrey agreed with Kristina's scowl.

—

After breakfast, Kristina met back up with Professor Snape and asked him what they were doing that day.

"Tests," he told her. "I have several in my office. Each stack is a class. I have quite a few, including yours."

"That's easy," Kristina shrugged.

"I demand you take it as well," Snape told her.

"You act as though I won't," Kristina frowned.

Snape furrowed his eyebrows and held a hand up to her face. Gingerly, he felt for her temperature.

Then, he frowned as well.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I mean...I feel fine..." Kristina raised her eyebrows. "What? Do I not look okay?"

"You feel warm...or I do...and you look sick," Snape answered.

"Now that you mention it, I feel a bit dizzy..."

"Well that's certainly not good," Snape put his hands on his hips. "I knew something was wrong with me last night before I went to bed! Bloody 'ell. My apologies...you have to deal with me being sick."

"I've dealt with worse," Kristina shrugged. "Well, off to class..."

"What's your first class?" Snape asked.

"Divinations," she answered. "Erin and I have the same classes together."

"Alright..." Snape scowled.

"It'll be fine," Kris assured him.

"I know..." Snape sighed.

She hugged him and smiled at him, "Go learn for me!"

"Try not to slap any of my students..." Snape told her.

"Ugh," she turned and began walking down towards Snape's classroom.

—

Her class was not until after lunch. As the hours passed, Kristina felt sicker and sicker. She did not even eat lunch today, she just sat quietly contemplating things at the teacher's table. By the time her class actually arrived, she was lying her head on Snape's desk and could hardly lift it when he came up to her. In fact, she had nearly dozed off when suddenly, she felt hands on her shoulders and then being shaken awake.

"Wake up, you're drooling on my desk," Snape grumbled.

Kristina tiredly lifted her head and groaned, "It's your drool, what does it even matter?"

"It's still disgusting," Snape muttered. "I do not look very well..."

"Gods, I feel like I got run over by a train..." Kristina whined.

"You've a few more hours left," Snape reminded gently.

"I should just cancel class and go back to the dungeons and sleep..." Kristina mumbled dryly.

"Get yourself a glass of water and do not dare to cancel class," he ordered.

"Yeah but what if I frigging throw up?" Kristina asked with a groan.

"Hm..." Snape thought for a moment.

Kristina waved her hand in dismissal, "Go sit down."

"I will sit with you," he told her. "My prescence comforts you, does it not?"

"Yeah," Kristina sighed. "You know, we switched bodies at the worst possible time. You were sick and I was about to start my cycle."

"Indeed," Snape agreed.

Kristina moaned softly in agony and then looked at Snape, "Uncle Severus, you think we could sleep in the classroom? I mean...it'd be too weird for us to try and go back to the respective houses."

"Hm, I do not see why not..." Snape admitted.

"Great," Kristina winced. "I'll think of something comfortable to sleep in. The tables are not much and I'm far too tall to lie down on the tables anyway..." She paused, "I never thought I would say that..."

Snape shook his head and crossed his arms.

"So, my favorite Ravenclaw, have you any plausible explanations for many of us being switched?" he wondered.

"I mean..." Kristina inhaled deeply. "My ideas are rather silly though..."

"Hm?" Snape wondered.

"Well..." Kristina trailed off when she felt another pang of nausea. "Oh dear gods..." She wrapped her arms around her torso and felt her stomach contract. Snape raised his wand to try and help, but she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth, jumped out of her seat and attempted to leave for a restroom, however, she could not make it past her former friend's desk without having to vomit. She turned and used her cauldron to puke in. The sound was like that of rain, if rain was made of yogurt. Her voice was loud like a toad giving birth (if toads had a mammalian birthing process).

Professor Snape clapped his hands over his mouth and tried not to laugh at her puking in a cauldron. By the way, Snape was horrified by how he sounded when she had puked. Erin looked over in surprise and whispered, "Oh shoot." Snape ran up behind Kristina and put his hand on her back to try and make her feel better.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Kristina shook her head. The girl looked at Kristina in absolute horror and Snape just looked at her and shrugged.

"Professor, are you okay?" came a chorus of students at the same time.

Kristina looked up and shook her head slowly, "I am not well, in fact."

"Should we take him to Madam Pomfrey?" came one voice.

"N-No," Kristina answered. "I think class is done for today, you all may finish the test at a later date. Just, for now please leave my classroom."

Snape looked at her, "May I stay?"

Kristina looked at him and nodded slightly. People quickly evacuated the classroom before "Snape" could get them sick. The girl took her cauldron and ran out faster than everyone else and took it to where she could dump it. The only other person left was Erin. She walked up to Kristina and held out her arms for a hug.

"Need a hug?" she asked.

"Sorta..." Kristina accepted.

Snape sighed, "That did not go as planned."

"Nothing...ever does..." Kristina struggled to say. "Erin...Uncle Severus and I are going to use this room to sleep in so that neither of us end up in an awkward situation..."

"Is there anything from our room that you need?" Erin asked. "I don't mind missing a class to get anything."

Kristina ran her fingers through her hair, "Later, I would appreciate my showering stuff...my soaps."

"Of course," Erin nodded. "Anything else?"

"I'm not sure about much else. Ooh, my blankets. I'd appreciate my blankets. All I'm gonna conjure up is a hammock or something of the sort. Uncle Severus and I are going to share a blanket."

"I'm currently trying to imagine that scenario," Erin commented.

Kristina forced a wry smile on her face and the color drained from her face again, "Oh gods...I feel...like I'm going to puke again..."

"I'll walk you to the restroom, then," Snape offered. "I'll even follow you in."

"Thank you, Uncle Severus..." Kristina nodded slowly. "Erin...I'll see you whenever you bring my stuff."

"Of course," she smiled reassuringly. "I understand not wanting to deal with drama."

Snape tugged at Kristina's arm and he led her off to the men's restroom. They rushed to the restroom, before Kristina puked again. She was able to hold it until they got there, however, as soon as she stepped into the first stall she fell to her knees and felt her stomach violently contract, making her convulse as she let go of whatever left she had in her stomach. Snape stood back, still rubbing her back, and thought to himself, _I sound gods-awful when I vomit_. Then again, did anybody ever sound good? Kristina lifted her head after she finished that round and wiped her face on a piece of toilet paper, then dropped it into the toilet.

"Uncle Severus..." she started, weakly this time. She could hardly speak coherently.

"Yes, my child?" he asked.

"I really would...appreciate it...if you were to kindly finish my classes today," she suggested.

"Go through them?" he asked.

"Yes. I've just one more class that is after yours, and then I'm in my room for three hours...It's not Professor McGonagall's class."

"What class is it?" he asked her gently.

Kristina struggled but she was able to remember, "Astrology."

"Easy enough," he shrugged. "Oh, if you are to take a shower...do you know where the teacher's bathing room is?"

"I think so," Kristina nodded. "I kinda mapped out the school year one."

"Right by the prefects' bathing room," Snape told her.

"Yeah..."

"Don't wash my hair," he told her sternly.

"Uhg." Kristina muttered. "I make no promises..."

"Are you going to vomit anymore?" he asked.

"I'm...not positive..." Kristina winced. "Oh, wait...no...one more."

She felt it again and heaved. It was a dry heave this time, nothing to cough back up except saliva.

"I think I'm good now..." She forced herself to her feet, which was a struggle because she was so tall and she was still not used to it. "Ah...Uncle Severus...help...I can't get up."

Snape bent over and grabbed Kristina by her underarms and dragged her out of the stall.

"I AM SO HEAVY."

"You...do realize...you are in my body...and I have little upper body strength?" Kristina reminded.

"Hm..." Snape nodded.

"UGH." Kristina kicked her legs weakly trying to stand up. "Uncle Severus..."

He decided to run over to the toilet to kick the handle to flush it. Then, he came back, went to a sink and got a damp paper towel to clean her hands. Crouching beside her, he wiped her hands and threw away the dirty paper towel.

"My dearest..." he started softly, then remembered his spell. He whipped out his wand and pointed it at her. " _levicorpus_!" However, her body did not move. Snape scowled. "Why is it not working the way it is supposed to?"

Kristina reached into her coat and pulled out his wand, "Maybe you need your own..."

They exchanged wands and he tried again. This time, he successfully levitated her into the air and used it to guide her onto her feet. He gave a satisfied smirk and looked up at her.

"My dearest..." he started. "You...go lie down in my classroom before...you vomit...again."

"Yes, Uncle Severus," she scratched her head. "I may shower first...gods I feel so yucky." She realized something, "Oh gods...I'm going to see more of you than I wanted to ever see."

"I'm..." Snape shook his head. "You can figure out how to avoid seeing me. I shall see you in a few hours."

"Yes...sir..." Kristina rested her hands against her stomach. "Ugh..." Together, they left the men's restroom and split up. Kristina headed back to Snape's classroom to attempt to make a hammock for her and Snape to curl up in. She drew her wand and aimed in a corner of the classroom. She muttered words to conjure up a hammock and after a few minutes, she was able to make it appear. She even added pillows. Nice and fluffy. Clumsily, she crawled into the hammock and curled up, waiting for Erin to arrive with a blanket.

It was not much longer when Erin arrived in the classroom.

"Hey, Kris, I've got your blanket. It's your favorite one. The plush Ravenclaw blanket I bought you for your birthday? It's long and wide enough for you and Professor Snape!"

Kristina opened her eyes and glanced down at Erin, "Oh...thanks..."

She reached down for her blanket and curled up under it.

"I also brought a comforter because it gets cold down here," she tossed it up on Kristina.

"I love you so much right now," Kristina said in a monotone voice.

"That time, you sounded exactly like Professor Snape," Erin told her.

"I am...too tired...to even think about...acting myself..." Kristina clenched her teeth. "Can you bring...a trash can over here... I think I'm about to vomit again."

"You poor baby," Erin awed.

"Mm," Kristina tensed. "Uncle Severus's body...does not...handle sickness very well..."

Erin brought over a trash can and put to where she could lean over to puke. Again, she felt the contraction within her stomach and agonized until she could try to heave up...well...whatever was there. She ended up spitting into the can and she sighed heavily.

"You know, this was not how I imagined being my uncle..." she muttered.

"Just the wrong time!" Erin assured her. "Maybe this'll last until after the illness has passed."

"I do not want to piss out of my uncle's...junk..."

"Better get used to it," Erin teased. "Oh, by the way your body soap and hair soaps are on this desk..." She pointed at the table.

"I'd like to see you try this!" Kristina coughed. "Erin, feel my face and tell me if I feel hot? I think I've a fever..."

Erin reached up and felt her forehead, then her cheeks. That was when she realized she had never actually touched Snape's face before. Embarrassed, she withdrew her hands and offered an expression of concern.

"A high fever," she answered.

"Uncle Severus will make me a potion later," she groaned. "Go to our last class. I would hate for you to miss it because of me."

"It'll be fine!" Erin assured.

"No, you need to go...Uncle Severus is waiting there by now, probably."

"Okay..." Erin pouted. She reached up and gave Kristina an awkward hug before leaving, and of course locking the door behind her.

—

Kristina was able to force herself out of the classroom long enough to take a shower in the teachers' bathing room. Nobody was in there, making it a perfect time to bathe. Grabbing an emerald green towel, she headed over to a shower and turned it on. While waiting for it to warm up, she hung the towel and undressed. She folded Snape's cloak as best as she could and set it aside. Then, she unbuttoned his jacket and after that, his shirt.

She glanced at herself in the mirror and saw that she looked like absolute hell. Anxiously, she touched her shoulder and gripped at it while still looking. Though, she had to admit Snape was actually really hot, even with him looking like hell right now.

After a few moments, she tore herself away from her anxiety to finish undressing. She unzipped his pants and pulled them off, nearly losing her balance in the process. Lastly, he (thankfully) had boxers. She pulled those off with his socks and folded them neatly and placed them with everything else. Avoiding glancing down at any point, she took her soaps into the shower with her and stepped inside. First, she washed her face thoroughly with a cleanser that was apricot-scented. After she washed his face, she grabbed her hair soap, dumped enough into her hands to work into her uncle's hair, and began massaging it in. It took a little over a minute to get it thoroughly into the hair and washed.

Annoyed, she thought to herself, _Uncle Severus, do you EVER wash your hair? Gods...I'm doing you a favor here, you know_. After she got the soap out, she added some conditioner to the ends of his hair and washed it out too. Then, she grabbed a washcloth to begin washing the rest of her/Snape's body. She kept her eyes closed so she would not look at anything she did not want to see. In the middle of washing, she felt the nausea come back and she quickly finished so she could get out without incident. Once finished, she turned off the hot water (which felt amazing) and grabbed her towel, drying off her body and then quickly putting back on her boxers and pants. As soon as she had those on, she was able to comfortably take the time to dry her hair. She pulled out her wand pointed it at her hair.

" _Comæ Siccum_ ," she muttered.

Not even a moment later, her hair was dry. However, something was not quite right... When she ran her fingers through her hair, it felt way too soft and she looked at herself in the mirror. Shocked, she gingerly touched her hair. It had fluffed out, much like that of a maine coon cat's fur. Cursing under her breath, she realized why her uncle told her not to wash his hair. That. That was why. Not that it looked bad, but it just...was not Snape.

"Well...shit..." she cursed.

With no way to really fix it, she decided she would just have to prepare for being scolded by Snape later. Sighing, she turned and put the rest of her clothes on and left with her soaps in the bag that Erin had brought them in. At least she felt slightly better, although her stomach was still doing somersaults.

"Gods, I feel awful..." she murmured.

As she walked, she felt herself getting sicker.

"I swear to the gods if this does not stop..." she growled under her breath as she approached Snape's classroom again.

Waiting right by the door was Snape himself, in her body. His arms were crossed and his expression changed from concern to annoyance.

" _What_ did I tell you about washing my hair?" he hissed.

Kristina looked up at the ceiling and walked up to him.

"I was not thinking," she told him. "Now shut up and let me go lie down before I vomit again..."


	2. Two

**Chapter Two**

One would be surprised by Professor Snape's inability to stop himself from eating at supper that evening. Erin sat right next to him, eating slowly as she usually did. Surprised, she paused with her fork near her mouth and looked at him, realizing he was practically inhaling his food. Never had she seen him eat as fast as he was, but then it hit her that he was also menstruating (well, Kristina's body was) and that it affected people differently. Kristina usually could control herself, but Snape obviously could not.

"Oh my goodness," she commented. "Professor, you're going to make Kristina sick too..."

Snape had lifted his bowl of soup to his mouth and before he could drink the broth, he glared at her and then proceeded to drink the broth.

"You know...it's a good thing she has an excellent metabolism..." Erin bit her lip.

"Does Kristina  _ever_  eat?" Snape asked after he set the bowl down.

"She does..." Erin trailed off, still watching in shock.

Snape watched as the bowl disappeared from the table, being replaced with gelato ice cream. Erin put the fork down before her hand got tired.

"You so wanted that," she teased.

"Miss Hartnell, did I ask for your input?"

Erin giggled, "I'm sorry, this is really funny."

"This is a serious matter!" Snape hissed.

"It's not very serious when you've got gelato in front of you," Erin giggled harder.

"Fifty points from Ravenclaw!" 

"Yeah uhm it doesn't work because you're a student right now..." Erin grinned.

Angrily, he growled at her and she put her hands up in defense, then he returned his gaze to the bowl. Quietly, he picked up his spoon to scoop out some of the ice cream to eat and he suddenly heard some commotion. He looked around until he could find the source and Erin followed his gaze.

"So, oh my god, Professor Snape  _puked_  in my cauldron today!" came a girl.

"Ew!"

"That was funny though."

"He must've been really sick though," came another voice, very soft and gentle. "He really seemed sick during our class but he had managed to keep from puking. Just, like, he was a sickly pale—more pale than usual—and he was lying his head on his desk. I think he was trying to sleep like that."

"Wouldn't that make him even more uncomfortable? I thought he was pretty old..."

"OLD?!" Snape nearly choked on his ice cream. "How dare they—"

"Professor Snape, calm down," Erin smacked him in the back. "You don't want them to know that it was Kristina."

"It'd be more believable..." Snape grumbled.

"Just...relax..." Erin told him.

After Snape basically polished his bowl clean, Erin decided it was time to prevent him from eating more. She saw him trying to grab some food from her plate and she slapped at his hand.

"No! Stop eating, you're going to make yourself sick!"

"I know that, Miss Hartnell," Snape told her plainly.

"I'm looking out for you and Kristina both," Erin told him. "Just...stop eating."

Both exchanged expressions. Snape was rather angry, Erin was frustrated. Suddenly, Snape tried to reach again and that was when Erin wrestled him to the ground. Meanwhile, Snape was crying and now they had an audience.

"Goddammit Hartnell!" Snape cried out.

"Stoooooooop!" Erin demanded. "If you don't Kris is going to kill you later."

"Why are you so mean?!"

"Why are you so darn stubborn?!" Erin managed to pin him down. "Professor, no more food!"

She was able to cast a binding spell on him and got him up off of the floor and back into his seat. Satisfied, Erin went back to eating her food as slowly as she could. And Snape was left sitting at the table, unable to move.

"So that's how female hormones affect men..." Erin commented after a few moments. "Wow. You are really different with female hormones going through your body."

"Shut it."

"I mean, it's true," Erin shrugged.

"Just finish your damn food..." Snape grumbled.

"Why don't you go back to Kris?" Erin recommended. "She may want your presence while she's sleeping. And you do have some tests to grade."

"Indeed..." Snape agreed. "Fine, I suppose I can leave."

Erin undid the spell and Snape was able to stand up. Clumsily, he turned away from the table and walked away. Erin watched as he forcefully walked, although not on purpose. She giggled and went back to eating.

When Professor Snape returned to his classroom, Kristina was still unmoving in the hammock and wrapped up in a tight ball with the blankets Erin had brought her. He glanced at her and saw her face twitch. Then, she opened her eyes and saw him.

"Uncle Severus," she mumbled through the covers.

"How...are you doing...?" he asked her.

Kristina closed her eyes again and sighed, "Still not doing well..."

"I am going to grade some tests," Snape told her.

"That's...fine..." Kristina stifled a yawn. "I'm...tired..."

"I'll come join you after I grade the tests," he told her.

"Okay," Kristina yawned. "Love...you..."

Snape nodded and walked over to his desk to grade tests.

Kristina and Snape both woke up the next morning to someone unlocking the classroom door. They were both curled up together in the hammock, curled up under Kristina's blankets (Which she made thicker because it was colder in the dungeons than in the tower). Gingerly, Snape had his back pressed up against Kristina's torso, while her arms were wrapped around him like he was a teddy bear. When they heard the door open, neither one of them wanted to move. Just the very thought of sitting up made them feel dizzy.

"Professor Snape? Kristina?" came what sounded like Professor Moses's voice. "We have a bigger problem than originally thought..."

"I want nothing to do with this problem..." Snape murmured. "It's too early. My classes are cancelled and I am sleeping in..."

"Yeah, well it's kinda too late because I'm already here," they saw Meriwether Moses walk into the room and right up to the hammock. "I'm not Professor Moses. It's me, Erin."

"Erin?!" Kristina's eyes widened and she blinked in disbelief. "Not...Professor Moses?"

Snape and Kristina both sat up together, Kristina not letting go of her uncle.

"If you're Meriwether, then where is he?" Snape asked.

"In our room, still," Erin frowned. "Goodness...what a mess!"

Kristina shook her head slowly, "It is..."

"Are you feeling alright?" Erin asked suddenly. "You looked awful last night before supper."

"Not by much," Kristina scratched her head and stifled a yawn. "I don't think I could have classes today."

"Well, I do have a few other classes today..." Snape thought out loud. "I suppose it cannot hurt. You are still recovering physically from vomiting yesterday."

"I'm not going to teach Professor Moses's class," Erin grinned. "We'll just sit and talk about our feelings."

" _What_?" Snape asked.

Before Erin could respond, she felt a pain in her teeth and a headache. What was that for? She placed a hand on her forehead and groaned.

"Ow, my head hurts..."

"Uhm..." Snape trailed off. "That may be from..."

"What? What do I not know about Professor Moses?" Erin asked.

"He's...a vampire..." Snape glared at both girls. "Do NOT tell anybody else about this!"

"So...I need blood?" Erin asked.

"Precisely," Snape told her.

"So who's willing to volunteer?" Erin asked.

"Meriwether has a stash of blood suckers somewhere in his classroom...thing is, he's the only person who knows how to get to it," Snape frowned.

"Well, my body is menstruating right now so taking blood from Uncle Severus is not a good idea," Kristina winced as she pulled down the collar of her jacket.

"I am not quite sure how my body would react but..." Snape sighed. "Whatever..."

Erin walked over to Kristina but Snape paused, "Wait! I may have something with blood in my supplies..."

"Really?" Erin asked.

Snape gave her an annoyed expression, "Do you not remember that some of the recipes for potions involve blood?"

"S-Sorry," Erin blushed.

Snape crawled out of the hammock and began towards his office. Erin walked over to Kristina and felt her face to see if she still had a fever. Kristina did, in fact, still have a fever.

"Do you feel like you gotta puke again?" she asked.

"Sorta..." Kristina admitted. "But...I think I can move around."

"No! You stay here," Erin responded sternly. "I bet Professor Snape is going to gather ingredients to make a potion to make you feel better."

"Mm..." Kristina felt the nausea resurface and she lied back down. "Why am I so damn sick?"

Snape came back out of his office with a pint of blood.

"Cats' blood," he told her. "Very useful in certain potions. You need at least a tablespoon of it." He grabbed a tablespoon from his measuring set and poured the blood into it.

"How do you get cat blood, again?" Erin asked.

"Different cats," he told her. "I take a small vial from each of them...Taking a pint would hurt them. I have owl blood as well but not as much."

"Oh," Erin nodded in agreement as Snape handed the tablespoon to her. "Drink it."

"Professor," Erin started. "Might wanna make a potion to help Kristina. She's feeling nauseous still and her fever seems higher. Not by much, I don't think."

"I can certainly make something..." Snape nodded. "Now, quit fooling around and drink the blood. Meriwether has to have blood."

"Right..." Erin took the tablespoon and drank the blood. Her face screwed up in disgust, "Ack! Gross."

"You get used to it," came a voice. Erin's actual voice. It had to be Meriwether, they realized.

"Meriwether, how kind of you to join us," Snape grumbled.

"Yeah, well..." Meriwether grumbled. "I kept tripping over my feet getting here. I fell down the stairs and landed on a trampoline! Oh my GAWD. When was a trampoline installed there? Though, I admit...it did hurt much less..."

"OOPS that may have been me," Erin's face turned rosy red. "I used my teacher abilities to demand a trampoline be there..."

"And that is why you are not a teacher," they heard Kristina moan softly.

"Oh like you didn't use your teacher card yesterday when you puked in the girl's cauldron," Erin clapped back.

"It was totally worth it," Kristina struggled.

"It better have been worth MY embarrassment!" Snape snapped.

"I love you, Uncle Severus!" Kristina told him.

"I love you too but it gives you absolutely no right..." He corrected himself, "Well...I suppose there was not much you  _could_ have done at that time..."

"Wait, Kris puked in someone's cauldron yesterday?" Meriwether asked. "Oh my GOD!" He burst out laughing.

Erin giggled, "It was funny, to be honest..."

"Man, I wish I'd seen that!" Meriwether exclaimed.

"It was pretty disgusting, actually," Snape shrugged his shoulders. "Kristina, my child, I shall make you a potion."

"Okay..." Kristina acknowledged.

"Erin, so now that you are me..." Meriwether started. "What are you going to do with my classes?"

"Oh, well I figured we'd just all sit around talking about our emotions," Erin grinned.

"Well...that works!" Meriwether shrugged. "I'll uhm...just stick with you...until we figure out how to undo this..."

"Excellent plan," Snape agreed as he walked towards his office to find ingredients for a potion to help Kristina. The only symptoms she has shown were nausea, vomiting (violently) and fever. He was quickly able to find what he needed and then proceeded to his cauldron to begin making the potion.

"So who's ready for breakfast?" Erin asked.

"I certainly am!" Meriwether grinned.

"I plan to stay here all day," Snape told them. "Did not grade as many tests, and this potion takes a few hours. I certainly hope Kristina does not vomit anymore, I cannot bear the sight of myself looking so awful."

"I'll send some food to you," Erin told him.

"Thank you," Snape thanked.

Kristina groaned softly and Erin hugged her.

"You'll be fine soon!" she reassured.

"I know I will," Kristina told her. "Not gonna stop me from feeling awful because I am as sick as a dog."

"Feel better, Kristina," Meriwether told her.

"I will try my best..." Kristina muttered.

Meriwether grinned and he and Erin took off, leaving Kristina and Snape alone again. Quietly, Snape worked on the potion. There was no doubt in his mind that it had to be done: if he did not make it, Kristina would be far more miserable than he was. And that was not usually a good thing.

Kristina was able to levitate a book off of the nearest bookshelf and bring it over for her to attempt to read. However, when she began reading nothing was being processed in her mind properly. Words were seen, but they made no sense to her whatsoever. Annoyed, she rubbed her eyes roughly, trying to get her eyes to focus on the words and comprehend them.

After being unsuccessful, she tossed the book aside in irritation.

"Damn it," she cursed. "Stupid illness!"

"Whatever is the matter, my child?" Snape wondered.

"I can't freaking read..." Kristina crossed her arms and sulked. "What am I to do? I feel bored and useless."

"Hm...do you believe you can stand up long enough to help your... _favorite_  uncle...make a potion?"

"Perhaps..." Kristina thought about it. After gathering up the will to actually stand up, she threw her legs over the side and slowly rose to her feet. After basically not moving for over twelve hours, the stiffness in her legs made her nearly fall back down. Stretching, she was able to move again but still with clumsiness. Stumbling towards Professor Snape, she was able to safely make it over to him and she began offering a hand with the potion. However, she had to sit down after a few moments due to overwhelming nausea. She pulled over a stool and sat down and tried to avoid throwing up again.

Snape gently placed a hand on her back as he worked and he rubbed it to make her feel better. Kristina, however, was unable to feel any better. She felt her stomach churn again and she gagged. Annoyed, she grabbed the nearest trashcan and made sure it was ready in case she did finally vomit.

"Dear me," Snape muttered. "Are you  _still_  nauseous?"

"Yep," Kristina gagged again. She was not going to be able to keep herself from vomiting in a few moments. Not that she had  _anything_  left in her stomach.

"Is there anything in my stomach?" Snape asked.

"Not at all," Kristina muttered. "I haven't even drank in—"

"You need to drink!" Snape exclaimed.

"I know but—"

"No arguments," Snape reached for a glass and filled it with water, then gave it to her. "Drink it!"

"Fine, fine..." Kristina bent over and vomited into the trashcan before she could get water. She grabbed a paper towel and wiped her face before tossing it into the trash can. "Dry heaving. Lovely."

"Drink."

"I will!" Kristina groaned and took the glass of water and began drinking it. "Ugh, I just...I just don't want to have to go to the bathroom..."

"It's going to happen at some point," Snape reminded her. "I've already gone five times in the past 24 hours."

"Did you know how to go?" Kristina asked, recalling the three times she's already gone.

"It's rather obvious," Snape muttered.

"Good," Kristina sighed.

"And you?"

"Standing up..." Kristina muttered. "Because men are weird like that."

"Excellent, now that we've got that out of the way..." Snape muttered. "Now, if you would be so kind as to pass me the ginger..."

"Okay," Kristina passed over the ginger root for him and he cut it into smaller pieces, small enough for them to dissolve completely within the potion.

"I think perhaps our next lesson in class shall involve this potion," he commented. "I believe it imperative to know how to make these...especially since during this time of year, many people do indeed get sick."

He was right. It was the middle of November, right in the middle of cold and flu season. Students and teachers alike were likely to get sick very soon. At least having the potion made beforehand would be helpful!

"Yeah," Kristina nodded. "It would be a good idea."

She leaned over on the counter and rested her face on a balled-up hand. Snape glanced over and frowned.

"Do you need to go back to sleep?" he asked.

"I'd rather not," Kristina muttered. "I would like to be doing something to keep my mind busy...however, I can't focus on a damn thing..."

"Well...being well-rested helps recovery," Snape told her.

"Ugh..." she murmured. "I"ll go use the restroom, first."

"Do you think you can walk by yourself?" Snape asked.

Kristina stifled a yawn, "I think so..."

"Go on, then," he told her. "I will be here..."

"Okay," Kristina stood up slowly and exited his room. Much to her surprise, there was hardly a soul outside. Then again, everybody probably got the hint that Professor Snape was most definitely not feeling well. The very thought amused her. Students did not want to get sick, or at least with Snape's help. Amused, she gave a small chuckle at the idea. Being Professor Snape was actually more fun than she could have imagined. People were actually fearful of her! No one to pick on her or mess with her. No boy who could not keep his hands to himself. No creepy stalkers... Everybody avoided her, except the Slytherin. Then again, she had not run into as many Slytherin as she had predicted.

The walk from the potions classroom to the restrooms was not very far: there was a pair of restrooms near the dungeons. It was also a quiet walk, indeed. She approached the restroom with hesitance but when she got inside, she relaxed and walked into the first stall. She did not entirely feel comfortable relieving herself with an audience. How did men do it?

When she finished, she zipped back up and kicked the handle, flushing the toilet and leaving to wash her hands. After drying them, she left and headed back to Snape's classroom.

That was when heard hysterical laughter, and then something fly right by her. Naturally, she flinched and then looked up only to find the trickster ghost, Peeves, prancing about.

"Gods, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Kristina exclaimed. "What's got  _you_  in such a good mood?"

"Hehehe, I've been a baaaaaaaaad specter!"

"Oh my gods!  _What_ did you do this time?!" Kristina demanded.

"You Severus or are you Kristina?" Peeves asked.

"Kristina..."

"I got into Snape's stash of potions!"

" _What_?"

"And I've been pouring a serving in everybody's drinks!"

"Oh no..."

"You know what potion?"

"Oh dear."

"And it's been switching people!"

"PEEVES!" Kristina shouted.

He giggled and began prancing away as Kristina began to chase him with her wand out.

"I swear to the gods—! Get back here you little shit!"

She ran right by Snape's classroom, where he was still working on the potion. He suddenly heard her shouting at something. When he turned around, he saw the edges of his cloak disappear from sight as Kristina bolted past.

"Kristina?"

"PEEVES! I AM GOING TO GET Y—"

Suddenly, there was the sound of her tripping and falling, making some sort pained screech. It sounded odd with his voice.

"GOD DAMMIT PEEVES."

"HAHAHAHA! You can't catch me!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS." He heard Kristina proceed to whimper in pain. "Ow..."

"That did not sound good at all..." Snape commented.

Dropping his stuff, he rushed out of his classroom and found Kristina on the floor, writhing in pain on the floor, her hands on the back of her head. Tears streamed down her face as she writhed.

"Oh dear me, Kristina,  _what_  were you thinking?"

"Ahh..." Kristina inhaled sharply. "Peeves. Uncle Severus, Peeves did—"

Professor Snape bent over and tried to help her back onto her feet, "Calm down."

"No! You don't understand," Kristina argued. "Peeves got into your potions stash and he's been putting a dose of the switcheroo potion in people's drinks!"

Snape paused and looked at her.

" _What_?"

Kristina raised her eyebrows at him, "You heard me."

"That damn ghost!"

"I KNOW."

"After you drink your potion, we must tell Dumbledore," Snape told her.

"No shit!" She groaned in pain and looked at him, pulling her hand and looking to see if there was any blood. There was no blood "I have the worst of luck. I can't believe I fell..."

"I do not believe you have the balance to have tried to run like you had wanted to," Snape informed her. "You do remember that you are still trying to adjust to my physical height?"

"R-Right..." Kristina muttered with a frown as Snape pulled her back up onto her feet. "I kinda...liked running as you. Having the cloak billowing around me was kinda cool. I felt so badass!"

"Apparently you think I'm just that cool..." Snape muttered, leading her back into his classroom. Once back in the classroom, he leads her back to where she had been sitting and he continued with the potion.

"Uncle Severus, is there a way to reverse this potion?" Kristina asked.

"It was made by mistake," he informed her. "I'd hidden it..."

"That does not answer my question," she held her hand on the back of her head.

"No, it wears off after one and a half to two weeks," he finally answered.

"Seriously?" Kristina asked.

"Indeed," Snape muttered.

"So I'm going to be you for almost two weeks?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"There is so much fun to be had..." Kristina remarked with a mischevious grin.

"What?" Snape looked at her.

"What?" Kristina looked back.

"You better not..."

Kristina giggled, "Just a little bit of fun, Severus."

"Do not do anything rash," he told her.

"I won't, I promise," Kristina responded.

"You better..." he sighed as he began finishing up. "We still must tell Dumbledore so that he knows...I think he may punish Peeves this time."

"You may have to tightly lock up your potions," Kristina pointed out.

"I perhaps may have to," he agreed.

Kristina moved her hand to the front of her face and inhaled deeply.

"I swear if this nausea does not stop..."

"I am almost done, my child," he reassured her.

Kristina crossed her arms and pouted, "I hate not being able to tolerate illness."

"You'll be fine..." Snape grumbled and furrowed his eyebrows. When he was finished, he passed the potion to Kristina and she drank it.

"How long until it works?"

"An hour...or two..." he told her. "Although, it is freshly brewed. Perhaps less than that."

"What do we do in the meantime?" Kristina asked.

"I recommend you rest," Snape told her.

"Ugh,  _fine_!"

He smirked, "I'd appreciate it since YOU are in MY body."

"Yes, Uncle Severus," Kristina scowled and stood up slowly.

"I also recommend, at least until you regain the ability to stay balanced, to not run while you are in my body."

"Yes sir."

Kristina began walking towards the hammock she created for the two of them to share and climbed in slowly. Snape watched to make sure she did not fall again. Once in the hammock, Snape crossed over towards her and climbed in as well. Looking at him in shock, Kristina gave a wry smile and rested her head in his lap.

"You're an awesome uncle," she told him.

"I suppose I am," Snape shrugged.

"You at least tolerate the hijinx that Erin and I drag you into."

"I do..." Snape realized.

"And you tolerate me."

"That's because...you remind me of myself a little," he admitted.  _And Lily Evans...because you're so sweet..._ he wanted to add, but could not bring himself to do so.

"I do?"

"What, did you think your cynicsm and sarcasm came from living with your father? No. It came from hanging around me...and your surprising spite of the general human population."

"People are stupid though," Kristina told him.

"Indeed they are," Snape agreed.

Kristina closed her eyes and rested her hands on her stomach.

"You should relax a little," she told him. "Your whole body is tense."

"Well..." Snape did not know how to respond.

"You should just, I dunno probably on break or something, just curl up with a good book and read," Kristina told him.

"I..." Snape sighed as Kristina grinned.

"I'm trying to get you to laugh," Kristina sighed. "You're not much fun..."

"Sorry..." Snape muttered.

After dozing off for an hour and a half, Kristina was feeling much better. She sat up slowly after she had woke up and scratched her head.

"Uncle Severus..." she looked at him, staring off into space.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her, "Finally awake?"

"Finally feeling better," Kristina told him.

"Good."

"It's almost lunchtime, I think."

"We can go get some lunch...certainly..." He paused and then added, "And we shall inform Dumbledore of Peeves'... _shenanigans_..."

"Gods...yes..." Kristina agreed and the two of them stood up together. Professor Snape made sure she would not clumsily fall over again (for...the hundredth time?) and together, they trekked off to go get lunch. Much to their surprise, the cafeteria looked rather mixed rather than not. Gryffindors were sitting in the Hufflepuff table, Ravenclaws sitting in the Gryffindor table, Slytherins sitting in the Ravenclaw table, Ravenclaws sitting in the Slytherin tables. More surprising, there were students sitting at the teachers table and teachers sitting at the students' tables. Dumbledore looked rather perplexed by what was going on. After exchanging questioning expressions, they both approached the headmaster and Kristina ran her fingers through her hair anxiously. (Musing to herself, she gave herself credit that at least Snape's hair felt nice even though it looks way too fluffy now).

Snape placed his arms behind his back as Kristina shoved her hands in her pockets. Startled, Dumbledore glanced down at them and attempted to offer a reassuring smile.

"Severus, Miss Magi, what a pleasant surprise!"

"Albus," Snape started. "There is a rather large problem, it seems, dealing with...apparently a great majority of us here."

After getting a confused look from Dumbledore, Kristina sighed.

"I'm Kristina in Professor Snape's body, and Professor Snape is in my body," Kristina told him. "As you can tell, I accidentally washed Professor Snape's hair..."

"You are Miss Magi?" Dumbledore looked at Kristina, then at Snape. "And you are Severus?"

They both nodded. After thinking about it, he began laughing at the notion. Kristina and Snape both felt their cheeks warm up as embarrassment flooded their emotions. Pink colored their cheeks as the embarrassment grew.

"Is there something...funny...sir?" Kristina forced herself to ask. He continued chuckling and Snape and Kristina both exchanged embarrassed glances. "Uncle Severus, why is he laughing?"

"I do not know," Snape grumbled.

"Just...the mere notion...that you two have switched bodies," Dumbledore tried to get himself back together. "You both have such contrasting personalities!"

"Perhaps so..." Snape agreed. "However, we still...have  _some_  similarities..."

"Indeed, the two of you do," Dumbledore agreed.

"We were going to say..." Kristina started. "Peeves has been a little arsehole: he found Professor Snape's potions and took this... 'switcheroo' potion and has been adding it into our drinks. Apparently this has been going on for awhile now, as Professor Snape and I found out yesterday. And today...Erin and Professor Moses were switched as well...and judging by how things look in the cafeteria, more students have been switched."

"I feared as much," Dumbledore sighed. "It appears as if it's been switching like-minded people as well. As you can tell, both you and Severus have similar minds, although your personalities are stark contrasts."

"Not as stark as Professor Moses and Professor Snape," Kristina giggled.

"I concur with Kristina," Snape agreed.

"Indeed, Meriwether certainly makes Kristina look like a twin of yours, Severus..." Dumbledore agreed.

Kristina stifled a laugh. He was most certainly not far from the truth on that! Sure, Kristina seemed more bubbly than Snape, but not by all that much anymore. And the fact that she made some (really bad) puns also set her apart from her uncle. Yet, Meriwether Moses was perhaps way too hyper and much more bubbly than Kristina. In fact, he was perhaps the silliest teacher there! Kristina could never be that silly.

"That is...true..." Snape realized.

"So, what is going to be done about Peeves?" Kristina wondered, trying to get back to the topic at hand.

"I'm not going to kick him out," Dumbledore answered. "However, he will have a stern punishment in the meantime."

"A stern punishment?" Kristina asked.

"You can punish ghosts," Dumbledore reminded. "There will most certainly be consequences for his actions."

"Okay..." Kristina shrugged.

"What do we do about classes?" Snape quickly asked.

"I don't think it should be any different, Severus," Dumbledore assured. "Although, Kristina can take points away from the Houses since she is in your body. Same with Erin and Meriwether."

"That is weird," Kristina muttered.

"Indeed," Snape frowned. "So I could still have classes but teaching as Kristina, and Kristina would go from class-to-class as me..."

"Sounds like fun," Kristina retorted.

"How about you two sit down and enjoy some lunch?" Dumbledore recommended.

"Okay..." Kristina and Snape both reluctantly agreed.


	3. Three

_Chapter Three_

"The potion lasts about a week and a half, to two weeks," Kristina informed Erin as they ate.

"Really?"

"Yep," Kristina nodded.

"Geez," Erin muttered.

Kristina bit down on her chicken and then smirked at a silly thought that crossed her mind.

"Miss Hartnell," she began, attempting to steady her voice like Professor Snape's. "You  _do_  understand the consequences of us being our professors, correct?"

Erin paused for a moment and then realized what Kristina was trying to do. That was when she tried to relax herself like Professor Moses and she offered a big grin.

"Yes, I do, Severus," she replied. "That means we can have so much fun together! Oh my GAHD, Severus, did you do something with your hair?"

"I washed it, for a change," Kristina responded.

Both girls began giggling at their attempts to sound like their teachers. Professors Moses and Snape both glanced at the girls in their bodies and Snape shook his head.

"What are they doing now?" Snape wondered.

"Ah, perhaps talking about silly things," Meriwether grinned. "They be trying to pretend they're us!"

"Hm, seems that they are not succeeding in that," Snape muttered as Kristina made a doofy grin.

"I did not know you could contort your face to be at all silly!" Meriwether teased.

Snape gripped his glass and glared, "Shut up, Meriwether. It is only because of Kristina..."

"Nah, you know deep down you want to laugh and smile," Meriwether assured him. "And I bet you do sometimes!"

"I'd break a mirror if I smiled," Snape sneered.

"Oh please! Stop being so self-deprecating..." Meriwether sighed. "So, Severus, how do you plan to work around being Kristina?"

"I could never be taken seriously as a teacher, so I think teaching is out of the question," Snape sighed. "Although, I could perhaps write a script for Kristina for each day of class and for each class so that she can teach..."

"So what will you be doing in the meantime?" Meriwether asked.

"I shall...go through her classes," Snape trailed off. After getting a perplexed expression from Meriwether, he said, "What? I can write her notes! I know how she takes them...And I can write extra-detailed notes for potions..."

"Are you sure?" Meriwether asked.

"I will be teaching her what I learned from her classes those days," Snape assured. "It only seems logical, correct?"

"Perhaps so..." Meriwether agreed with a slight nod.

"And how do you plan to deal with being Miss Hartnell?" Snape asked.

"Uhm, doesn't seem much different from your plans, I think," Meriwether told him. "So how are you dealing with the making sure Kristina stays clean and decent?"

"Well, for clothing there's a cleaning charm that I could cast to make her clothes feel and look fresh and clean..." Snape answered.

"Really? What about a shower?" Meriwether asked.

"I'd...rather...not..." Snape flustered. "There's a charm for that, as well. It would be simply too embarrassing for the both of us if I... _witnessed_  her...body..."

"Geez..." Meriwether muttered. "I suppose you've a point."

Snape sighed as he finished his plate, then glanced back at Kristina and Erin.

"You know, I wonder how Kristina shall handle teaching my classes..." he muttered. "Her...anxiety...can be rather awful..."

"Oh, I'm sure she'll be perfectly fine!" Meriwether assured.

"I sure hope so..." Snape grumbled.

—

The next day, Professor Snape gathered up Kristina's things and prepared for taking her classes for the day. He handed her the scripts for his classes that day, written neatly on parchment and without error.

"You are to read from this—and you better stick to my script!" he ordered her.

Kristina stupidly tried to grip onto the papers as she drank another potion to help her stomach calm down again.

"I will certainly keep to the script," she assured him.

"If you do, I promise this weekend at Hogsmeade...I will buy you a butterbeer..." he promised her. "I know you enjoy it very much."

Kristina's face lit up, "Really?"

Snape nodded.

"Alright, I will do my best for sure!" Kristina grinned.

"...Try not to smile," he told her. "I will give bonus points to Ravenclaw if you can control your emotions enough to seem like me."

Kristina tried to wipe the smile off her face and in a monotone voice, she responded with, "Yes, Professor. I shall indeed do my best."

"Excellent," Snape spun around on his heels. "I will gather notes for you and you shall study them each night with me. Good luck, my child."

"Have fun!" Kristina told him. "Try not to kill my classmates!"

Snape crossed his arms and stalked out of the room. Kristina set down the empty vial of potion and exchanged it for her mug of tea. Originally, it had been her Ravenclaw mug, however, instead she cast a spell on it to make it look like a Slytherin one. It was only for awhile, until she was herself again. Students began to slowly pour into the classroom as she studied the first piece of parchment. She sipped on the tea, decided it'd cooled down too much, and hit it with another warming charm. Tea was best drunk while hot.

"Professor, are you feeling any better today?" a student asked, concerned.

Kristina looked up and nodded, "Indeed...I am..."

"Okay," the student smiled and skipped off to their seat. When everybody had sat down, she started class.

"Alright...my children," she began, attempting to sound like Professor Snape. Then, she froze in place with anxiety. Holy shit, she was standing in front of a bunch of kids about to teach them something from a script her uncle wrote her! Adrenaline coursed through her and she shivered. Okay, this was going to be a lot harder than she thought. "Uhm...well..."

Kristina frowned and exhaled an exasperated sigh. Really? She was freezing up  _now_? Uncle Severus would not be happy with that. After a few moments, she began trying to force herself into speaking before the class. It took some mental convincing, but she was able to finally teach the class to her uncle's script. And made sure to do it, just like him. Unfortunately, she did use her teacher abilities to her advantage and took points from those who misbehaved, whether or not they were Slytherin was of no issue to Kristina.

"Ten points from Slytherin," she said when a group of Slytherin began chatting about a random topic in the back.

"Professor, how can you take points from us?" came one of the students.

"Quite easily," Kristina crossed her arms. "I told you lot to shut your mouths how many times? And yet you did not listen to me. What else am I to do?"

"Dang, Professor Snape is feeling savage today," someone muttered.

Kristina smirked, "Indeed I am. Now does anybody else dare to make a snide remark?"

Everybody exchanged uneasy glances. No, not really.

"Excellent," Kristina muttered as she returned to teaching.

—

Professor Snape's notes, much to Kristina's surprise, were extremely neat and even better than her own notes. Embarrassment flushed her face as she examined them closely when he handed them to her.

"Wow, your notes are really detailed," she commented. "Uncle Severus, how the heck..."

Professor Snape shrugged, "I took most of the classes you are taking. It has not changed all that much in fourteen years. That, and your uncle  _does_  know what he's doing!"

"Man..." Kristina scowled and set them down. "Thanks."

"I see you were doing excellent with my classes," Snape commented.

"Yeah, I...I nearly had an anxiety attack at first but...I got over it," Kristina assured.

"Good," Snape smirked.

Kristina pointed her wand at the corner and made a hammock reappear, "teaching is exhausting. I'm going to bed early tonight." She pointed her wand at Snape's office and cast the charm for her blankets to be summoned.

"Fine, I suppose," Snape muttered. "But we are to eat supper."

"Yes sir..." Kristina muttered as she set the blankets down on the hammock.

—

One would be surprised as to how much fun Kristina had being her uncle Severus. Ravenclaw had set up a karaoke thing by the stairs to Ravenclaw Tower. Something had made them bored enough to do so, however, when Kristina found out she wanted to join in on the fun.

"What songs are available?" she asked.

"Professor Snape?" came the surprised voice of a 7th year. "You want to sing?"

"Between us Ravenclaw, I'm not Professor Snape," Kristina winked. "I'm Kris."

"Wait, Kris?" asked Jordan Campbell. "What are you doing as Snape?"

"Oh man, she must've been the victim of that stupid switcheroo thing that's been going around," came second year, Sierra.

"Hahahaha!" the 7th year student grinned. "Don't worry, Kris. Secret's safe with us. We'll startle the hell out of everybody else."

"I love it," Kris smirked.

"And that is why if the sorting hat did it on personality alone...you'd be a Slytherin," Erin mumbled. "Are you sure you can? I mean...have you ever heard him sing?"

"Uhm well no but I'm sure I can do it," Kristina smiled.

"Yeah, I wonder how Professor Snape would sound singing..." Jordan wondered.

"Oooh, I bet amazing," Sierra grinned.

"Are you sure?" asked the 7th year.

"We'll find out soon, won't we?" Sierra asked.

"What's the song list?" Kristina asked.

"Uhm...here," a 6th year handed Kristina a muggle notebook. "I keep these muggle notebooks on me because I like how they feel. This has the song list. Hope there's something there you like!"

Kristina smiled and nodded, "I'm sure to find something I like."

As she and Erin glanced through, Kristina found all the hot 80s songs. 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by A Night at the Opera, 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor, 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson, and 'Let's Dance' by David Bowie. Then a few songs from the 70s and 60s: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin, "House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals, "Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel, and "Jump in the Line" by Belafonte.

"'Sound of Silence', Carbie, but I want to do my own thing," Kristina said.

"How?" Carbie Juneau, the 7th year, asked.

"I dunno, give me an austere track or something," Kristina told her. "I'll work it out."

"Well, Kris, I give you credit..." Erin muttered. "I'd rather hear Snape sing 'Sound of Silence' than 'Jump in the Line'."

"I could've chosen 'Bohemian Rhapsody'," Kristina retorted.

"Which would be even worse," Erin told her. "Bad enough you're singing as Snape. I'd hate to hear him singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody'."

"Well..." Carbie grinned. "This is going to be more amusing than I thought. Professor Snape, I'll make you go first."

Erin nearly choked on her own spit, "Shit, man..."

"Oh...that was unexpected," Kris laughed. "Fine, I got it..."

Carbie handed her a microphone and pointed at the 6th year, "Holly. Make something sombre for her."

"Gotcha," Holly Sanders nodded. "Sombre coming right on up."

Kristina realized that there was already an audience. Who knew so many people were either interested in her singing, or singing too, or both? Her face turned red. That was not expected. The sombre sound began from a piano and Kristina gave it a couple of moments before starting.

" _Hello darkness, my old friend,_  
I've come to talk with you again,  
Because a vision softly creeping,  
Left its seeds while sleeping,  
And the vision that was planted in my brain,  
Still remains,  
Within the sound of silence..."

Professor Snape's voice surprised Kristina. Sure, he may sound gruff and like he could never have a good singing voice, but it was actually better than originally thought. In fact, it was almost soothing to hear. Her eyes widened as she realized the sound of his voice.  _Wow! I almost wish he'd sing me to sleep!_  Not that he ever would, but it was a funny idea. The way she sung the song was haunting, almost emotional which was a stark contrast to the original.

"Holy crud," Erin murmured with surprise. Then, she turned around and saw Professor Snape approaching the scene, wondering what the hell was going on. Anxious now that her uncle was there, she kept going because she'd already started and she was not about to stop now.

"My gods, what is she—"

"Shush," Erin stopped him. "This is good."

"She is  _embarrassing_  me!" Snape hissed under his breath.

"Your voice is nice, now shut up and listen," Erin grumbled.

" _...and in the naked light I saw,_  
 _Ten thousand people, maybe more,  
_ _People talking without speaking,  
_ _People hearing without listening,  
_ _People writing songs that voices never share,  
_ _And no one dared  
_ _Disturb the sound of silence..._ "

Snape crossed his arms and forced himself to stay quiet. Although, he had to admit: his voice was pretty impressive. Still, he scowled at Kristina through the whole thing.

"I can't believe her..."

"Professor, calm down..." Erin told him. "She's trying to have fun, let her! Remember, last year sucked for her. For her to be having fun, even if it's as you, is a good thing. It means she's learning to forget the events of last year."

"I know...but still..." Snape told her.

"I know, you don't like it," Erin grumbled.

"No, I'd rather her  _not_ be doing this," Professor Snape growled.

"Sorry," Erin shrugged.

" _...And the people bowed and prayed_  
To the neon god they made,  
And the sign flashed out its warning,  
In the words it was forming,  
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls,  
And tenement halls,  
Whispered the sound...of silence."

"Holy crap!" one student, who had paused to see Professor Snape's singing, exclaimed. "He can sing!"

Professor Snape pushed past Erin and stalked up to Kristina, "What the  _hell_  were you thinking?"

"You have a really nice voice, Uncle Severus!" Kristina told him.

"I can't believe you did that!" Snape snapped at her.

"S-Sorry, I thought it would be fun..." Kristina apologized, now looking rather upset. "Sorry..."

"You know, Snape hasn't been acting as himself much of late," came a Slytherin. "Haven't seen him in the House in awhile."

"Think he's been sleeping in his classroom," someone responded.

Snape pulled out his wand and quickly cast a memory charm on everybody else, "There...no one will remember that."

"Oh come on..."

"No," Snape repeated sternly.

Kristina pouted.

"You had your fun, but it's not remaining in their minds," Snape told her. "Now, enough fooling around! You have classes to study for."

"Yes sir..." Kristina hung her head and followed her uncle.

"I'm coming with!" Erin realized they were leaving and scrambled to keep up with them.

—

A week later, Kristina and Erin found themselves screwing around where Erin had casually placed a trampoline. They exchanged grins as they bent down to take off their shoes to do some jumping. When Kristina took off her shoes, it was revealed that she was wearing what appeared to be a pair of her own socks. Bright, almost neon, blue socks with neon purple toes and heels, and with...foxes? Erin choked down a giggle after she saw her socks.

"Kristina, did you really..."

"I used a spell to change his socks to look like mine," Kristina responded. "It's not supposed to be neon anything but this was what came of the spell."

"I sure hope you don't embarrass Professor Snape with those," Erin pointed out.

"Oh, he'll be fine," Kristina assured.

"I mean, if you're certain then sure...whatever..." Erin agreed.

"I mean...COME ON! These socks are SO DAMN CUTE!" Kristina nearly squealed with Professor Snape's voice. "Foxes are so cute!"

"I know!" Erin agreed. "Oh my goodness...you love foxes way too much."

Kristina stood up and stretched. Suddenly, she began to wonder whether or not her uncle's body could  _handle_  the shock of bouncing around. He was exceptionally healthy, but he was not half as active as Professor Moses, who usually could be seen jogging around the school first thing in the morning. After stretching her arms, she climbed up onto the trampoline and then helped Erin when she was ready.

"I can't believe you are even suggested doing this," Kristina commented. "I might have regrets later about this."

"What do you mean?" Erin asked.

"Well..." Kristina fumbled for the right words. "Uncle Severus is, while he's quite healthy...he's nearly forty."

"Oh..." Erin nodded. "Though, what about Professor Moses? Isn't he like 49?"

"His body is more well-adjusted to shock," Kristina pointed out. "Snape, while in excellent health, does not go around jogging before breakfast...or after dinner, depending on the day..."

"Okay, that makes sense," Erin agreed. "Right, okay. So, shall we get this party started?"

"Not so much a party..." Kristina muttered as the two of them began bouncing on the trampoline. It was just large enough for them to stand apart without bumping into each other, but small enough for the energy to transfer between them with each bounce. Soon, they were both practically bouncing off the walls. Naturally, they both ended up purposely falling down on their butts to bounce back onto their feet.

Perhaps they had too much fun, as they were unaware that there were students approaching and getting ready to push them off for their own personal fun. Kristina was in mid-air when a student came up behind her and pushed her completely off of the trampoline. She landed with a painful 'thud' and the feeling of her bottom teeth slamming into her upper teeth sent shock through her head: she hit her chin hard on the floor. A few moments afterwards, she realized that she might have broken Snape's jaw. A pained groan escaped from her throat and she placed her hands on her jaw. Beside her, Erin landed but not as badly as she had.

"Oh my goddess," she muttered through unmoving teeth, trying not to scream in pain. "Ah..."

Tears streamed from her face and she turned her head to glance at who had done that. On the trampoline now was a group of students: several older-looking ones towards the front, indicating that they were the ones who had pushed her off. They laughed at her and Erin as they stared.

"Haha! We got that old git  _good_!"

"Old g— OW!"

"Oh shoot, Kristina...your jaw...I mean, Professor Snape's jaw...Wait! Is that blood? SHOOT! Oh my goodness!"

She reached over and touched Kristina's face. Kristina could not hold back the cries of pain as Erin touched her jaw and she slapped her hands away.

"We need to go to Madam Pomfrey," Erin took the slap to her hands and watched as the tears welled up in Kristina's eyes.

Angry, Kristina stood up and pointed at the students and Erin quickly stood up and tried to stop her.

"Three hundred points from all of you!" she cried. "Detention, two weeks of it!"

"Kristina, stop it you're going to make the injury worse," Erin warned in a hushed voice.

Kristina cried softly. Gods, that pain was getting unbearable.

"Let's get you to Madam Pomfrey before you make it any worse," Erin grabbed her arm and tried dragging her off.

Kristina moaned in agony as Erin dragged her off to get Snape's jaw fixed before they switched back, whenever that was. The students continued bouncing around and laughing about knocking 'Snape' off of the trampoline.

"Rat bastards—"

"Kristina, shush. You're going to make it worse."

"But—"

"Kristina..."

The blood from her mouth began drooling out because she was struggling to do anything with her jaw hurting the way it was.

"Oh shoot...the blood..."

"I doubt you'd want to drink the blood coming from my mouth, as it's probably mixed with my saliva...or well, Severus's...You know what I mean!" Kristina kept her mouth locked so she could refrain from hurting herself even more.

"Okay, that's a valid point..." Erin agreed.

"Not doing that again—ouch..."

"Almost there."

"My jaw—ah..." Kristina winced.

"Yes, I know," Erin sighed.

"Bollocks! This hurts..."

"I can't believe you just said 'bollocks'," Erin reacted.

"What else do I say?" Kris muttered.

Finally, they got to Madam Pomfrey's office and Erin forced Kris to sit down. The sudden jolt of being sat down forcefully found its way into hurting her jaw even further. She gasped in pain and whined a bit.

"Shoot! Sorry," Erin apologized quickly.

"Ah..." Kristina flinched as she touched her jaw lightly. "Oh he's gonna kill me later..."

"Well technically it wasn't  _your_ fault..." Erin reminded.

"I know..."

"Oh! Look at who we have here. Severus Snape and Meriwether Moses. Unusual to see you two together!"

"Er," Kris decided against saying anything.

"Uhm," Erin gave a wry smile. "You see, Severus took a tumble down the stairs and landed hard on his jaw. I was surprised! Oh my GAWD. Stop touching your jaw before you hurt yourself even more..."

"I'm fine, Meriwether," Kristina muttered through...not quite clenched teeth.

"Oh Severus, don't talk! You'll make it worse, for sure!" Madam Pomfrey rushed for her wand and came back. "This may hurt but it is the only way to fix your jaw."

"Fine," Kristina agreed.

Madam Pomfrey paused in realization, "Wait, you're still Kristina, aren't you? Oh, silly me!"

"Ah, yeah..." Kristina remembered. "I forgot..."

"Well, still...please try to sit still, Kristina," Madam Pomfrey told her. "I know that you can't sit still for five seconds but I'd appreciate your effort."

"Wait what am I missing?" Erin asked.

"I'm...not very good at sitting still for anything painful," Kristina huffed.

"No, you're not," Madam Pomfrey pointed out. "And you're also terrible at listening to my instructions."

Kristina rolled her eyes and Madam Pomfrey whacked her wand against Kristina's jaw. Inhaling sharply, she tried to avoid screaming with pain. With that, her jaw slowly fixed itself and soon, she was able to open her mouth. It still stung, but not like when she had first slammed her jaw into the ground. After her jaw healed, Madam Pomfrey smiled and waved her hand in dismissal.

"You are good to go now!"

"Well, that's certainly something..." Kristina remarked. "Never had a broken bone before. Hope it to never happen again, for sure."

"Ah, breaking bones is never fun," Madam Pomfrey told her.

"Supposedly my father's brother broke his arm five times?" Kristina tilted her head in curiosity.

"Oh, I remember little Jeremiah!" Madam Pomfrey giggled. "The lad found stupid ways to break his arms. Three times on his left, two on his right."

"Owch," Erin flinched. "HOW?"

"I asked him that myself..." Madam Pomfrey shook her head. "Boys! What can you do with them?"

"Wait what did he do?" Kristina asked.

"Doing stupid 'tricks' on his broom," Madam Pomfrey answered.

"And that, my dear Kristina, is why I am your uncle..." came a voice.

Kristina looked and saw her uncle approaching in her body, right next to Meriwether. Both girls stood up and approached their teachers.

"Uncle Severus? How'd you know I was down here?" Kristina asked.

"Those bumbling fools of wizard students on that... _trampoline_...and the blood on the floor..." Professor Snape raised an eyebrow at her. "Whatever may have happened there?"

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey!" Kristina glanced over her shoulder and smiled.

"No problem!" Madam Pomfrey responded as the four of them walked out.

"Well, Kristina?" Snape glowered.

"Stupid kids pushed me off and I slammed your jaw into the floor and broke it..." Kristina grumbled. "Still stings, quite a bit in fact."

"I'm sure you will be feeling worse later," Snape sighed. "You  _do_  realize my joints are not the same as yours, as I am much older than you?"

"Y-Yeah..." The four of them stopped and faced each other. Kristina faced Professor Snape, Erin faced Professor Moses. Crossing her arms, Kristina expected a decent scolding. Instead, Professor Snape shook his head and sighed.

"Let's just go to the library and study," he suggested irritably. "You've a test in astrology tomorrow. Hartnell, you as well."

"Oh crud, I forgot that..." Erin muttered. "I focused so hard on Kristina getting fixed up from those jerks..."

"Can I come?" Meriwether asked.

"Don't you have a class to teach?" Snape wondered.

"Er..." Meriwether's face turned red. "I mean..."

"Go teach..."

"I can't, not as Erin."

"Right..." Professor Snape sighed. "If you really want to, fine."

Meriwether grinned, "Yay!"

Together, they all trekked off towards the library, and it was not long after Kristina sat down with Snape and took her notes from him that she began feeling the joint pain. Uncomfortably, she shifted in her seat and forced her right leg to cross over to her left knee to rest. Crossing his arms, Snape shook his head and read to her the summary of the lessons he wrote just for her. Anxiously, Kristina ran her fingers through her hair several times and then forced herself to stop.

"I told you that you were going to feel the consequences of your... _jumping_ ," Snape told her. "That's why I didn't scold you. I figured you'd feel the lecture through my joints."

"How do you do this..."

"I don't feel it that often," Snape pointed out. "I'm not jumping around like I'm fifteen."

Kristina inhaled deeply and sighed.

"This sucks."

"Focus your attention on my words," Snape told her with the most serious expression and tone he could manage being her.

Kristina nodded, "Yes...Uncle Severus..."

"Excellent..." he muttered.

—

"I suspect we may switch back tonight," he suddenly told her. "I recommend we head back to my classroom and get ready for bed."

"R-Right," Kristina nodded.

"And we've got one more day," Erin sighed. "I hate being a vampire! Ugh. All of that blood...blech."

"I'm sorry!" Meriwether groaned.

"Not much I can do about that, Miss Hartnell," Snape smirked.

"Ugh," Erin grumbled.

"Shall we, my dear?"

"I suppose I can get ready for bed earlier than usual..." Kristina sighed. "Although, I admit I'm beyond sleepy now."

"I believe that is the effect of the potion," Snape told her. "It's supposed to cause fatigue. That is why I came looking for you: I needed to get us to bed before we fell asleep in awkward places or positions. Mind you, I remember how you used to sleep..."

Kristina grinned, "I haven't fallen asleep like that as you, Uncle Severus."

"Yet..." Snape grumbled and took her hand. "Come, my child. You can see your friend again tomorrow."

"Yes, Uncle Severus..." Kristina sighed.

Professor Snape took her hand and dragged her off before she could say anything else to Erin. When they finally arrived back in Professor Snape's dungeon, he closed the door and she placed the hammock in it's own corner. She placed the blanket and pillows on the top and immediately crawled in.

"I do hope this goes the way I intend it to," Snape muttered.

"I hope so too," Kristina stifled a yawn. "Gods, I'm so tired all of a sudden..."

"I know," Snape agreed as he climbed up into the hammock.

Gently, Kristina pulled the blanket over them and rested her head on the pillow. Snape lied down on his side facing Kristina and clutched the blanket.

"Well...goodnight, my child," he told her.

"Night, Uncle Severus," Kristina shoved an arm under the pillow and closed her eyes. Neither one of them moved for the rest of the night.

—

It was morning before either one dared to move or open their eyes. All was silent, except the nearly inaudible sound of Kristina's breathing. Warmth could be felt against Professor Snape's chest, like someone's head was resting against him. When he simply could not fall back asleep, he opened his eyes and allowed them to adjust to the darkness in his surroundings. Unconsciously, he moved his hand and touched the back of whomever's head was resting against him and felt soft, fluffy hair. Almost like that of a cat's hair. That was not him. Could it be? He was himself again?

Silently, Snape moved his arms and wrapped them around Kristina. The feeling of her small, slim figure relieved the potions master. Suddenly, he heard Kristina grunt and exhale deeply as she was brought back to the waking world. Roughly, she rubbed her eyes and looked up at her uncle Severus.

"Mm," she grunted. "Severus, are you okay?"

"Yes...I'm fine," he told her.

His voice...

"Are we back to normal?" Kristina asked.

"I believe so," he responded gently.

"Good."

Silence fell between them for a couple of moments.

"I don't know how you do...being a girl..." Snape told her.

"What parts?"

"Oh let's see! The cycle you go through, the weights on your chest..."

"Quite easily," Kristina told him. "The same way you deal with having a weight in between your legs."

Snape whacked her on the back of her head and she giggled.

"It's true!"

After a couple more moments of silence, Snape sighed.

"So, you had your fun as me. Are you satisfied?"

"Yes, Uncle Severus," Kristina smiled.

"Not gonna wish for it again, are you?"

"I doubt it," Kristina giggled.

"Excellent...because I never want to be a woman again," Snape grumbled. "A hormonal, teenage woman at that..."

"Say it like it's a bad thing?" Kristina teased.

"Never again..."

The room remained dark and Snape sighed.

"Should we get up?"

"I'm really comfortable right here..."

"You know...me too..." Snape agreed. "Then again, my knees hurt because of you!"

Kristina giggled again, "Sorry!"

"We can stay right here...at least until the sun rises..." Professor Snape told her.

"Of course," Kristina agreed.

Professor Snape gently touched his jaw with his arm still wrapped around Kristina, pulling her closer than he meant to. He could still feel the phantom of the pain and he scowled at it.

"Bloody hell, my child," he grumbled. "Did you have to do that to me?"

"What?"

"Break my jaw! Crikey, I can still feel the pain even though it is healed."

"I gave them two weeks of detention if that makes you feel any better," Kristina told him.

Snape paused and thought, "Hm, yes. Perhaps that does help a bit..."

Kristina hugged him, "Sorry Uncle Severus."

"I suppose I'm just glad you were happy," he offered her a wry smile. "I do love you, my child. Even if you do get on my nerves..."

"Love you too, Uncle Severus!"


End file.
